How To Find Mentors When Dad Is Absent

Are you a single mother who needs to provide male influence for your son or daughter?   Been there.  I also know that parenting is a taxing role, but one that can be rewarding too.  As single parents, we worry about everything because the majority of the time we do everything.  Having daily support from dad is rare, so we must become the back bone when it comes to raring our children.  Finding resources is imperative.  

My ex-husband was involved in my daughter's life after we divorced, but it was on his terms.   His priorities were all wrong.  The responsibility of getting my daughter up, providing clothing, feeding her, educating her, taking her to activities and turning her into a young lady was my responsibility for the most part.  He thought if he handed over money he had done his part. This may give you some insight on why I ended up divorce and making it on my own.  
Regardless of whether you have a son or daughter, they will need a male influence in their life. You can and you must provide a strong male figure.  Speaking from a male perspective is something we as women simply can not do.  Here a few tips on how I accomplished that goal and provided male role models for my daughter:  

• If you have a brother or sister or aunt or uncle that is married, you trust and they have established a home and family call them.  They may be willing to spend time talking to and teaching your child to become a positive male and female in our society.  

• Contact your local Big Brother and Sister organization - They have volunteers who wish to spend time with local children.  One of my male employees was a volunteer for a little girl. He was a huge supporter for most of her life and is still involved in her life now that she is an adult.  

• Get your child involved in church activities, preferably with someone who is trustworthy.  We hear so much about Catholic Priests and ministers who abuse children.  Take the necessary steps, and ensure your child is around those who can truly be trusted.  Predators choose churches because we as parents make the mistake of thinking that everyone is holy.    

• Camps are a good way for your child to learn about leadership from both a male and female perspective.  This can be a church camp, sports, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, or whatever organizations you can find locally.  

• If you are blessed and have your father, get him involved.  Grandfathers have great influence on their grandchildren.  

• Recreational centers are another way to provide role models and mentors for your child. 

• If you have nephews, have you son or daughter spend quality time with them.  They will share things with each other that they won't talk about in front of their parents.  This will give your child an opportunity to hear things from a different perspective.  

Don't worry that your child will become a murder, rapist or bank robber because dad was not around.  Don't worry that your daughter may become promiscuous and bring home babies out of wedlock or marry the first man who comes along because dad was absent.  We have plenty of people who fit into these categories who were raised in 2 parent homes.  Most importantly, there are many people in the world who were raised by single parents, and they are successful.  You must talk to your child constantly, so they know what path to take and be honest.  Let them know that being a single parent is not a glamorous job, but in fact hard work and you want more for them.  Lead the way, they're depending on you.   

If you have additional resources or ideas that are not listed, please share.  

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